So again it’s Saturday afternoon and it’s the first chance I’ve had again to write. Well, write here. I wrote another She Budget’s article this week which will come out tomorrow. It’s a good one but as Bob and I did the math this morning, it’s more of a philanthropic venture than anything lucrative. I like writing those articles but wonder if my time cold be better spent. I always wonder than but end up doing what I like versus doing what I should. So that brings me to tonight. Tonight like many other Saturday’s before and hopefully many more Saturdays to come, I’ll be doing a comedy show but I’m not looking forward to it and that’s unusual.
This week end’s job it a three show gig, one show Friday night and two tonight. It’s at a nice little club and it’s with an out of town headliner, Bill Santiago, whom I’ve worked with before. I was looking forward to the show last night. Bill’s funny and nice and that’s always great to see and be around. Before the show we had a nice conversation that was very interesting and actually very helpful. It gave me a new perspective that I think will help improve my writing and my act. So the show started and I started off as I always do but that group wasn’t buying it. They nibbled a bit but never bought in. My last joke did well but that was it. It was not good. Eating it stinks.
Of course no one likes failure and I am no exception. I do know comics who relish eating it, taking the deluded stance that they are misunderstood or that the audience is terrible. Sure sometimes there is a lack of appreciation but sometimes, most times, it’s just eating it. What makes me feel worse is that I am the opener. I am paid to warm up the crowd, get them ready, prep them for the rest of the show. Eating it mean that I did not do my job and I don’t like not doing what I am hired to do. I didn’t even stay to watch the rest of the show. I left and to top it off, I got lost on my way home, wound up in a bad neighborhood and had to pay a $3.50 toll to get back to where I started. A spiral I guess is what my night was…a spiral into stinkiness. When I finally came home I went for a run and then went to bed. Now here I am.
So I am hesitant to return tonight to the same place where I found failure last night, to see the same comics that saw me suffer. I know we’ve all been there but it doesn’t make it any easier. To make matters worse, there are two shows tonight so if I repeat last night on show number one, it will be a long night probably ending with a regretful order of french fries. In order to be successful tonight, I have to let this go, shake it off. Tonight is a new show with new people, a different experience completely! I have to rally the troops and get the job done! I can do it! (my pep talk to myself) And then once the job is done, I hope I don’t get lost again on my way home. That was embarrassing.