My final day of work lasted for less than three hours. I was given the old “thanks for your service,you can go now” speech. It was anticlimactic to say the least. Before I got home my system access was revoked. I know because as the good and loyal employee that I was, I was going to at least return any straggling emails on my last day. I guess not. For the record, this has to be the only example of efficiency that I have ever seen there. Perhaps that say more about me than them.
I never really felt like I fit in at that company. I think our goals were conflicting. Like most companies their goal was to make money. My goal was to do good work. My philosophy is that if you do good work, you can be profitable. Their philosophy is do your work and don’t ask any questions. I was probably one of the most outspoken people there. That made me very unpopular. My saving grace was my ability to do good work. I don’t think you should be able to work for a company for 12 years and not do good work. Note I said “should.” I have a strange aptitude for the kind of work I do. I’m good at it. Now I’ll start doing that work somewhere else, somewhere that perhaps that will be a better fit. But you never know, it could be like that pair of jeans I tried on this afternoon.
So after twelve years, I had some cake and one of the ladies from a department I supported gave me a nice little house plant. I also have a box of cubicle memorabilia including a girl doll with blue hair and two little bears dressed in their finest garb. Something about animals dressed in people clothes amuses me. It always has. I have 4 Toilet Bowl trophies from my fantasy football league, a little from in a plastic bubble and a comic that says “This project is like a bunch of clowns running around with bees in their underpants.” I also have a spin off poster from The Sixth Sense that says “I see stupid people. They’re everywhere.” Perhaps that’s why they were so eager to see me go.