It’s 4:30 and the most pivotal time for me. It’s now that the rest of my night is decided. All too easily the television can be turned on and I will sit on the sofa for the rest of the night. The only thing that gets me off the sofa is the piece of pie in the refrigerator that needs some ice-cream. This is tragic. There are so many other things to do. I could go to an open mic, I could sit in the office and write, I could wash the kitchen floor. So many choices, so easy to make none.
Tonight I’m off to a good start. I’m writing. Although I am writing a mindless blog entry rather than working on a project that is gathering dust, washing the kitchen floor or going through the pile of magazines that I swore I would read by month’s end. I guess there’s still time for that although that’s the attitude that gets me in trouble. I’m a procrastinator. I put things off and then get mad at myself for not having much done. It’s a terrible cycle and one that I am aware of which means I should be able to change it but I can’t. I don’t know what it is that keeps me from getting things done, but it’s there, an invisible wall of my own creation. I doubt I’ll ever be able to tear it down, but I need to figure out where the door through that wall is. Maybe a window would work, I could sneak through it. Tonight my window is the magic show at the Mystery Lounge. (http://www.mysterylounge.com) It’s an amazing show and tonight the winter weather is at bay. I fell in love with magic last month and haven’t been able to shake it. I recently got two new tricks although the wall has kept me from practicing them.
“The wall” needs a better name. Ernie perhaps. Ernie has kept me from practicing my magic tricks. Damn you Ernie.