The Portal

Good news!  I found the portal!  You know, the ripple I’ve been looking for, the one in the time space continuum!  It’s at the Form and Teak furniture store in Burlington.  This place has been there since I was a little girl.  We drove by it every time we went to the mall and it always caught my eye.  I think it is the name or maybe the way the little stand alone building sits so nondescript right next to a big strip mall.  Anyway, this place has always been a curiosity to me yet today was the first time I ventured in, in search of a new stand for my television.

I pulled into the small lot where mine was the only car in sight.  Faded signs from better days directed me to the side entrance.  As I entered, there was a man behind the counter to the right who looked like a cross between Mr. Tumnus (the animated version) and the Leprechaun from the cheesy horror movie aptly titled Leprechaun.  As soon as I entered the store he scurried into the back never to be seen again.  Immediately I noticed the silence in the store.  No music in the background, no chatter or movements to be heard.  I started in the room with the funky colored sofas, aqua, purple and some sort of natural hue that I’m sure I’ve never seen in nature.  The sofas were of a style that I’m sure I saw as props in the movie Shaft only not as cool.  There were also old school sofa beds and wooden coffee tables with cabinets below like my great aunt had stuffed with Ladies Home Journals in the 70’s.   The only TV stand they had included a prop TV from my childhood with two dials to change the channels, one for the regular channels, 4 5, and 7 and one for 38 and 56.  These were the only channels we got pre-cable although there might have been more but the antenna adjustments in my house were limited.  The room with office equipment was far more impressive and included a table made for a green bar printer which if you work in technology as I do you’d realize that only the near death aged employees print mainframe code to it.   The bedroom section had trundle beds and wooden platform beds with matching dressers that lacked pulls.  There were dressing tables with huge mirrors and valets like my father used to have for his suit coat.  I thought maybe this stuff was retro trendy and perhaps I couldn’t see it.  It was priced like it was the ultimate style.  So I tried seeing cool instead of old but to no avail.  This stuff was just dated.  Weird.

That’s when I knew I found the portal and squirrel man was its keeper!  There’s no other explanation as to how this store is still here.  Now to figure out how it works.  I figured the weird Price is Right style price tags had something to do with it since the prices made no monetary sense.  $475 for a nightstand yet only $39 for a book shelf?  Perhaps if I open the door on the entertainment center marks $1392 then will I witness the union of Northern and Southern Japan after years of civil war?   What if I pull open the drawer on the cabinet marked $847?  Will I see the Pope Leo IV succeed Sergius II?   How many times and places scan I see?  What if it’s only once and I make the mistake of sitting on the sofa marked $1845 and witness the invention of Jello.   What a chance I’d waste…although I do like Jello.  No, this is going to require some thought.  I knew I better leave and figure out what I’d like to see most…the day Einstein proved time travel, the day Michio Kaku won the National Science fair or perhaps the day icecream was invented!  For now I’ll just rest easy knowing where the portal is until I decide when my trip will be to!

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This entry was posted in Comedy, Future, Happiness, Past, Time Travel, Travel. Bookmark the permalink.

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