Marriage Factors

My friend Tom from work is getting married and I am very happy for him.  His bride to be is lovely woman and although I’ve seen them together only twice, there’s no doubt that this is the real deal.  They are in love.  When you are a twenty-something getting married, you are just starting out with nothing in hand, no workplace longevity and only dreams of what will be.  Marriage preparations entail bridal magazines, giddy chicks and saving lots of money to buy yourself that one prefect day.  You think about color schemes and flowers and cakes.  The next year is spent fretting and planning and preparing for that perfect day and spending your life with that perfect person.  Then the day comes and it is perfectly beautiful and then you live happily ever after.  Ideally.

Tom and his fiancé are not twenty-something, they are sixty-something.  Closer to retirement that beginning careers, beyond child bearing age and both have already been married.  Getting married at that age is a different venture.   Suere there’s a dress to buy, friends to tell but there are also bigger issues to address than what caterer to use.  Tom and his lady both own houses.  Both houses are full of things.  They each already have sets of dishes, linens and flatware.  There’s nothing to register for.  There’s no money needed in lieu of gifts for a house down payment.  Instead there’s the question of whose house do we sell?  Whose house do we live in?  Whose stuff do we keep?  Most definitely there is yard sale to be had either way.  Then there’s the question of health insurance.  Whose do you keep when you don’t really need a family plan.  The families are already grown up and have health insurance of their own.  How about wills to be changed?  No more leaving the house to the kids now it has to go to the new spouse so they will have somewhere to live when the other dies.  Different perspective when you are closer to the end of your life than the beginning.  What about the divorce rate?  It’s 50% for first marriages and 67% for second marriages.  What do you do when you are seventy and get divorced?  Sleep on your kid’s sofa?

I think committing your life to another person is a wonderful thing.  Finding that rare someone that likes you just for you, that someone who understands you and that you understand too.  It’s a rare and wonderful thing but marriage itself?   I more often than not wonder why?  I think there will be more on this…

This entry was posted in Dating, Happiness, Life, Marriage. Bookmark the permalink.

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