Pension Plan

Other than being a comedian, I have a day job.  It takes less effort than comedy but more time.  It also pays more than comedy and offers the basic life necessities like health insurance, paid vacation days and a retirement plan.  My day job is a good job that I am good at.  The problem however lies in the fact that there is minimal if any personal fulfillment in the job.  From the minute I arrive time seems to slow down to a near halt and I spend the next eight and a half hours counting down the seconds until I can leave and do something, anything else.  I know that means that I am not in the right job and that message was never more clear than it was today.

When I began my career as a cubicle dweller, my company offered an old school pension plan.  Five years of cubicle dwelling later and I’m vested.  Yippee, some guaranteed money when I retire.  Well, my company has decided to move to the modern version of a retirement plan and offer a match to any personal contributions that we make to a 403B account (non-profit version of a 401K).  Sounds fine enough so I will now manage my own money.  In preparation for this event all employees were sent a summary of current benefits and the projected benefits based on three different retirement ages.  To earn the maximize retirement benefits, I have to work here for thirty-two more years.  Thirty-two more years.  Today I only have to stay here for thirty-two more minutes, and I’m not sure I can make it.  How could I possible get through thirty-two more years?    And it is not just this cubicle that I don’t want to sit in for thirty-two more minutes let alone thirty-two more years, it’s any cubicle.  I don’t need a new job, I need a new career.

The good news is that tomorrow when I return I will have something interesting to do – figure out what I want to do for the next thirty-two years.  Suggestions welcome.

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