I know many vegetarians and a couple of vegans. It’s hard not to know any these days as it seems to be all the rage. I myself spent about 2 and a half years as a vegetarian, but it was college and we experiment in college. It was difficult to eat as a vegetarian and still get enough nutrition to stay healthy. I had to make sure to get protein from eggs and cheese and complex carbohydrates. It took planning and some work but it was manageable. I imagine that to be a vegan and to stay healthy must be almost impossible without the utmost commitment to your diet and preparing nutrient rich food. The other aspects of being a vegan are probably a bit easier to adhere to although inconvenient…no down pillows, no leather product, no scrimshaw etc.
This past weekend I spent some time with two people who are vegans. Friday night I went to dinner with a group of women, one of whom was a professed vegan. She is very nice, outgoing and stylish and she is probably the most malnourished looking woman that I know. I’m not a very big person but I felt like a strong man in a circus sitting next to her and I probably could have snapped her forearms in half without breaking a sweat. As we were ordering, she decided to forgo the salads and have the scallops. When I asked her about her vegan practice, she said she takes it as far as not eating something she wouldn’t be willing to kill herself and she thought she’d be willing to harvest scallops so she eats them. She also wears leather shoes because the plastic ones are uncomfortable. Saturday I was at a party with another vegan who is also emaciating looking to the point that he belongs on a Sally Struthers commercial although he lacks the pigment for that. He drank so much that he passed out and fell face first out of a chair onto a paved driveway without even flinching – twice. Of course you can only hold so much liquor if you weigh ninety pounds. I think everyone should live the lifestyle they want to live as long as they are doing no harm to others, but do no harm to yourself either. You are not a vegan if you just don’t eat meat because you like wearing size 0 clothes and if you are a vegan there’s something hypocritical about the caring more for livestock than you do for yourself. Maybe it’s time for a reality TV show called Dope Slap the Vegan.