Today is trash day. For you dump goers, trash day for me means putting my bags of garbage and recycling on the curb in front of my house. Then men with a giant, smelly truck come and take it all away. Trash day is also clean out the refrigerator day and wash lots of Tupperware day and hence has also become wake up early day so I’m not late for work day. The trash men are tricky too. They come at random times so I can’t dilly dally in the morning. I need to get the trash out early. Once they came around at 6:45 AM and I hadn’t put out the trash yet. I had to put it on the curb across the street which I’m sure made no difference to the neighbor, but made me feel like I was some kind of trash wrong doer. I would put it out the night before but the odd array of wildlife in my suburban neighborhood would feast and leave a mess on the sidewalk that I do not want to clean up.
Last night I slept with my air conditioner on so this morning I didn’t hear my alarm clock go off. I did however hear the sound of the trash truck which made me jump out of bed in a panic, not because I thought I was late for work, but because I knew I had a slew of leftovers in the fridge that had to make this trash day or there’d be no room for anything else in there until next Wednesday. Luckily, the truck was still a few houses up the street so I had about 4 minutes to get the job done. So I ran to the kitchen like a crazed woman at The Filenes’s Basement bridal gown sale and grabbed that runny coleslaw and chewy ribs from the weekend’s cookout, found the bar of cheese that recently sprang a vein of mold and grabbed the already sour and separated milk carton from two weeks ago when I thought I should up my calcium intake and tossed them into the trash bag. I even managed to get the bathroom trash although the bedroom trash would have to wait until next week. Then I sprinted down the stairs just as the trash men pulled up to the curb. Victory was mine. As my trash disappeared and the giant truck slowly drove away, I heard the man on the back of the truck call to me…”Hey, nice pajamas”. Sure I was wearing a kelly green t-shirt with a giant Buddha decal on the front and blue polka dotted pants and lost a Tupperware top in the chase, but nothing would spoil my victory.