I was listening to a talk radio show the other day and in lieu of the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James and Tiger Woods scandals, the topic was secrets. The host of the show noted that everyone keeps secrets particularly from their mates. The secrets vary from seemingly meaningless facts like how much money you make to undisclosed friends to more damaging things such as affairs had and lovers kept. So naturally I wondered about my relationship and the secrets kept.
I have unprecedented (for me) trust in the man I am involved with. Since the beginning he has been unyielding in his answers to any questions I’ve asked so I don’t worry about other women, lies or undisclosed information. However, I don’t ask many questions because I don’t want to answer that many questions. I have a policy of don’t ask anything I wouldn’t answer myself. It’s not that I wouldn’t disclose anything asked of me. I also have an honesty is the best policy policy. I don’t have any big secrets to hide other than that I wet my pants every day in first grade…and I guess that’s not a secret anymore. I don’t ask him that many questions also because I don’t need to know everything about him or what he’s doing or who he’s doing it with. I know he has private things that he doesn’t share with me. I have private things that I don’t share with him like my Saturday morning breakfast ritual. He’s a writer and keeps a journal of sorts that isn’t for me to read. I don’t ask about it or try to read it or even wonder what he’s writing that I can’t read. I don’t need to. Secrets are kept when trust is lacking. I trust him and trust that he trusts me. Although maybe I should ask more questions so in ten years I don’t find out accidentally that he has some weird fetish or dresses like a woman when I’m not around or those cats are really his and not his mother’s.