Single or Double

I have always been an independent person, probably too much so. I have good relationships but suffer little when I am not. I know so many people who define themselves through their relationships as husband, girlfriend, parent, so much so that they are lost as an individual. I also know people who spend all their time looking for a relationship. I understand the lure, after all we live in a coupled society. There are couples everywhere on TV and there are even TV shows like the Bachelor where you hope that eventually a magical couple is formed. There is a billion dollar match making industry in on line dating. There messages everywhere telling you that you are supposed to be in a relationship.

I have never felt the need to be in a relationship. I am a perfectly good single. I have a good job, plenty of my own interests and I am very capable surviving on my own. I actually thrive on my own. Relationships take time, effort and require a bit of sacrifice, which most call compromise. That being said, I have been in a relationship now for a little over a year. My boyfriend is a wonderful man and we have a wonderful thing. Last week he was away on business and it was the first time we went more than a day or two without seeing each other and it was nice. Of course I missed having him around but I had a week of being that single that I am so good at being. I went to work; I went to a movie; I shopped; I ate out. I did all the things that I do with him but did them as I did them before him. I went to movie that I wanted to see without comprise or promise of next time he picks. I ate where I wanted to eat. I shopped without thought of time or having to be home at any time. And I liked it.

My boyfriend came home last night and although I knew he wouldn’t arrive until late, I spent the whole day excited and eagerly awaiting his return. And so he returned and as the dutiful girlfriend I had waiting his favorite dinner, not mine, and we watched my favorite show on TV, not his and as I write he is still sleeping so I’ve refrained from grinding the coffee beans so I don’t wake him. The relationship has returned. Although I enjoyed that time where I was once again a single, I like this too, maybe better…although I would really like a cup of coffee right now, but I will wait.

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